My testimony.
Once, sometime back two years ago in the fall, I went to a girl’s semi-formal sweet 16thbirthday party. It was fun, I knew most the people there; wasn’t much into the dancing, but a few of my friends dragged me out anyway. Of course there was also food… food’s something mentioned often by me. I quite like it.
Anyway: I’m not sure what I was thinking at one point… probably feeling lonely, watching all the couples dancing, and not having anyone myself. I could have possibly been thinking about a recent breakup that had happened between me and a guy and- and then this guy walked over. The guy, I should mention. Quite a few different girls had had their eye on him throughout the evening. He was seemingly a gentleman; danced with all the girls, mingled and talked with everyone, quite handsome… you know the usual gentleman type thing. Very stereotypical.
So I’m sitting on a metal foldout chair, with my jacket on (it was cold) and just staring off into the distance of who-knows-where when this guy comes over and pulls out a chair next to mine. I was kind of surprised, and also rather pleased, and we just talked. He wanted to be some sort of medical dude (I recognized the term he used at the time because I’d just read about them for school, but I can’t recall this word right now); he was in a lot of activities, doing a lot of speeches. Busy guy. Then he asked me to dance with him (my first dance ever I might add!), and we awkwardly swayed… then he actually taught me how to waltz – to no music; how sweet! Of course my mom appeared to pick me and my sister up at the end, but beforehand he and I exchanged some form of how to keep in contact. So of course, I went home and wrote in my journal about meeting this awesome guy and how I couldn’t wait to get to know him!
[Now this, in every perfect movie or romance novel, is where I tell you we fell in love and we’re still together after all these years today and we’re going to be engaged soon and married… however, this is not a Hollywood movie, or a romance novel, this is real life; so what I’m going to tell you that happened next isn’t what you may consider “in the script,” but to me it’s one of the most impactful moments in my life…]
We were talking just the day after and he dropped a bomb on me. The first one was the knife to my stomach but I thought “Okay, I can live with this.” Then he told me he didn’t even live around here (he just came around for the party – he was friends with the girl’s boyfriend) and he was heading home the next day… a good four or five hours away! I realized my dreams were crushed and vented to the pages of my journal that just when I finally thought I’d be able to get to know a guy and maybe, just maybe, he’d like me a whole lot in the process I couldn’t. My plans were ruined and I just didn’t see how God could have teased me with this little tidbit. I had seen no reason for Him to bring this guy into my life so briefly, just to drop that on me.
However… as months went by, I never forgot what he had told me and how it shaped me to be where I am today. Was he seventeen? I believe around there… and he’d managed, despite what he could have considered what I might think when he said it, to tell me three words that changed my life:
“I don’t date.”
Yeah, that’s right. He didn’t date. How could this have such a huge impact on me other than maybe a broken could-be dream born of a short lived crush? Let’s just say I dated someone not too long after all this that would trigger this statement repeatedly by doing some very immature things. Just after year later, he pushed me to my limit and I said I was done.
Afterward (and during) this whole ordeal, I still remembered and didn’t understand what that boy had meant when he told me those words. I wondered how he would ever find a girl. I wondered how a guy could actually hold out like that for a girl… and slowly realized how beautiful and awesome of a sacrifice that is. I questioned why we [people in general] dated at all. Why do we go from “date” to “date,” getting caught up in emotions meant for one man or woman in our lives instead of just waiting for God to take care of everything? (If you haven’t, read God Is A Match-Maker by Derek & Ruth Prince! Awesome book.) I realized I couldn’t handle giving my heart away anymore, or even dating someone with the guard up over my heart.
Now I understand why God allowed that dance to go on, why I was invited, and why He prodded that boy to come talk to me (I later found out this was through my sister).
One young man’s simple act of truth and testimony moved me enough so that I too can stand and say that
“I don’t date.”
[BTW- Thanks God.]
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